Living by Instinct (II)
instincts, the nervous system, vitality and intuition
In my last post, I began to describe how living by instinct is a simple and direct path out of states of burnout and overwhelm. In this post, I want to untangle some of the connections that our instinctive body has to other parts of us—our nervous system, intuition and vitality.
Strangely enough, despite their immediacy and potency, I don’t see the instincts being mentioned much in somatic work (apart from maybe the gut instinct).1 In many ways, the instincts are democratizing forces: they remove the need for anybody to mediate between you and your experience. If you can trust them, that is. Perhaps that’s why there isn’t that much anyone else can really say or teach about them. The beauty of instinctive wisdom is that we don’t need to learn things about it—we just need to learn how to tune in and follow it.
However, when we have been estranged from the body and conditioned into a way of thinking that doesn’t make room for bodily experience—that’s when we do need to re-learn and un-learn about seemingly simple things like instincts. In fact, a big portion of my work with clients boils down to getting the mind to understand and accept the body. I suspect this is also why topics like nervous system regulation have gained so much traction in recent years: they put into words (often using complex conceptual language) the basic things that bodies already do and know. And when we have words and a framework to hang our thoughts on, we are free to explore and tune into what our body is doing and wanting.
instincts and the nervous system
The instincts are responses from our animal bodies, and as such are older and more primal than our cognition. What lies between our human and animal selves is our nervous system. It receives information from our inner and outer environments, and organizes our response to the world by changing our level and type of arousal. In simple terms: more energy (hyperarousal) for situations that need it, and less (hypoarousal) for situations that don’t. In less scientific terms, the state of our nervous system is the way that our life energy is currently manifesting.
Many people misunderstand nervous system work as being about “calming down”, or continually regulating your state. On the contrary, the most effective way to work with the nervous system is to understand and allow your body to go through and complete its natural, instinctive responses in a safe way. This is how the energy of stress actually passes through the system without getting stuck inside. The process of this work is usually something like:
learn about the various possible somatic responses to life (so that we can understand, reframe and accept them when they arise)
refine our ability to track these responses in real-time
allow any given response to happen, where possible
turning towards whatever would make this process feel safer, easier and more comfortable
and where needed, supporting the body to liberate, enact or complete a response
post-process integration through journalling, reflection, movement, art, dialogue etc.
There is a wonderful sense of tenderness and power that comes in to the system when we are able to trust our instincts, and the ways in which our nervous system processes experience. Tenderness because we recognise just how basic and universal our responses to life really are; and power because we know how to ride these urges towards ever-greater vitality.
instincts are your true guides to wellness
There is a plethora of scientific information reaffirming that the body’s instinctive needs are paramount for health and well-being. Including but not limited to: how important it is to drink water, to move regularly, to breathe well, to be under the sun, to rest and sleep in darkness, to reduce exposure to noise, to spend time in nature, to feel warm, to feel cold, to be touched with care, to eat in balanced ways, to nurture strong bonds with others, to reduce stress, to be present, to introspect, to have meaning and purpose in life... I could go on.
But until we create our own, personal relationship with our instincts, we are unlikely to really absorb their life-giving quality, and staying well becomes a matter of checking things off the to-do list. This is also a potent reminder for the many people out there who are ‘doing everything right’ when it comes to staying healthy, but are still experiencing dis-ease or a lack of wellness. What is missing is the personal, intimate connection between you and your body, that keeps you anchored to your needs and in touch with your vitality.
When we frame wellness as a to-do list (as I did above), it disconnects us from our instinctive knowledge of what we need. It doesn’t allow us to trust what we are feeling and be responsive in the moment, because that may or may not match our pre-existing ideas of “how to be healthy”. And it doesn’t make space for the natural ups-and-downs of life, for the way that time and reality change and shape our experience.
The power of your instincts is that they are directly related to you and your life, to the environment you live in and the stresses and needs that your body is or has been subject to. There is no greater wealth of information than your living experience. Yes, some of the fundamentals remain constant for all of us, but the nuances and particulars of them are entirely individual. Only you know whether this is the right time to eat a particular way, to move more, to rest more, to introduce more warmth or cold to the system etc.
In this way our instincts are a living barometer, a dance that we are engaging in that will keep morphing and changing with the seasons of the world and the seasons of our life. Trusting them frees up enormous amounts of energy and mental space, because you simply need to do what your body is asking for, and track the results. Nothing could be easier, or more natural for a living body to do. Even the most dysregulated system has healthy instincts buried in it somewhere (this is where some guidance can help you discern which instincts to follow.) But the point is: you don’t have to listen to endless podcasts and digest expert opinions and read a bunch of books to be well. You just need to tune in to your body, and trust what you find.
instincts and intuition
Many people confuse instincts and intuition, especially because the gut instinct often coincides with what we know intuitively. I admit to sometimes not being clear myself whether my knowledge is coming from an instinct or an intuition. To be honest, it doesn’t matter to me that much, as my approach is to trust it regardless. But for the sake of clarity, I thought I’d go through a few distinctions between the two.
To me, the instincts are a much more solid, earthy and directly tangible form of experience. They come from the body’s immediate responses and desires, and they are potent and vibrant in the flesh—sometimes unavoidably so. This immediacy also means that instinctive guidance is fluid and changing; it’s not a permanent answer to things but an ongoing conversation we learn to engage in.
On the other hand, intuition is more subtle and ethereal, and yet it has a lasting, timeless quality to it. Even though I still feel it in my body, it can sometimes seem like it’s coming from somewhere else: like a download, or a guiding nudge, or a sudden clarity as things cohere within me. I find that my intuition is not as insistent as my instincts are, and can be dismissed or ignored more easily (though not without consequences). Intuition also has a more spiritual quality to it, which is why it is associated with things like the third eye, clairvoyance and awakening.
If we take a vertical or hierarchical view, the instincts are below (the knowledge of Earth and Body) and intuition above (the knowledge of Heaven and Spirit). This is why many forms of spiritual training will emphasise the cultivation of intuition, and de-emphasize or even bypass the instincts.
However, instincts and intuition also exist as a horizontal polarity: two opposing but complementary forms of non-cognitive knowing that we all have access to. And as with all polarities, the deeper we go into one, the closer we will eventually get to the other, provided we make space for it. In other words, what Body knows is distinct—but equally valid—to what Spirit knows. I have found in my own practice that opening up to my instincts has sharpened and clarified my intuition; while accessing my intuition was what led me to the path of getting to know my instincts.
Regardless of the kind of knowledge we are receiving, the important thing is to first trust and allow it; and second, find a way to channel it healthily and sensibly. Both these steps are hard in the beginning, but become more and more natural over time with practice.
As humans, we are blessed to have access to so many forms of knowing and experiencing the world.2 But when we remain stuck in our heads (in cognitive knowing), we live only half a life. Not only do we lose out on our own potential, and make life much more difficult for ourselves and others; but we also forget the richness and spontaneity of our own embodiment. Isn’t it time to remember that we have everything we need to know already, right here, and right now, in this very body?
My framing of the instincts is adapted from my training in Instinctive Meditation, and the needs portion of Non-Violent Communication.
The non-human world is also wondrous in its ways of knowing and experiencing, but that’s a story for another time.
Always learn sompem from yur works🙏🏼. Been sharin it wit my Ohana
Mahalo Sistah 🌈🐬
Thanks for part 2! "Even the most dysregulated system has healthy instincts buried in it somewhere", yesterday i was thinking of how even some people who seem 'not all there' are getting around and doing what they need to do, like grocery shopping, so there's some inner guidance system working there, and in relationship with the daily rhythms of the natural world.