a delicate topic of which you present good suggestions and an overall format/approach, very important as so much violence and and lack of grieving get normalized via corporate news and mainstream society. An excellent book is Martin Prechtel's "The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise" or his talk, audio "Grief and Praise part 1"
Yes, it's fascinating and also disturbing what our society normalizes and pathologizes. I remember hearing anecdotally that if you are feeling low or sad for more than 6 weeks, in some places that qualifies you for a diagnosis of clinical depression and prescription of anti-depressants... As we know 6 weeks is hardly anything in the face of a major loss or trauma in life, not to mention that grieving is not a linear process and any timeline on it is therefore completely arbitrary. But it seems like that's the best we can do collectively.
Thank you for writing so beautifully about grief, I look forward to the series. I love that you suggest ritualising grief - unless we belong to a spiritual tradition or religion, in the western world those 'rituals' can feel very cold and meaningless. We need to reclaim ritual and make it meaningful for ourselves. I'm very impressed with the work of Francis Weller who recognises that many of us are grieving the loss of biodiversity and the natural world, but have no way of naming or properly grieving that. He believes that grief has been too privatised in western society and conducts large grieving circles so that we can come together and transform our pain, allowing us to move from denial and paralysis to regenerating our natural world.
Hi PJ, thank you for your thoughts. Yes, I've heard of Francis Weller's work and am glad you brought it up. Grief for the degeneration of the natural world and our separation from it is another example to me of love, inverted. Love for our home, our kin and our true place of belonging.
I was recently also struck by how ritual allows us to 'know what to do' when someone is grieving. So often we can't provide support because we don't know what to do or say, we get awkward or we try to cheer people up---ultimately leaving the grieving person more isolated in their pain. Having a ritual container can mitigate some of that discomfort, so that the pain of grief is shared rather than dismissed.
a delicate topic of which you present good suggestions and an overall format/approach, very important as so much violence and and lack of grieving get normalized via corporate news and mainstream society. An excellent book is Martin Prechtel's "The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise" or his talk, audio "Grief and Praise part 1"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6h3JNOCTYc
part2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTMYHP3ZROs&list=PL-zu_tfn8YObHRYP0j3zxoFjOSMFrrJoN&index=2
part3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jth9D6VtStg&list=PL-zu_tfn8YObHRYP0j3zxoFjOSMFrrJoN&index=3
Yes, it's fascinating and also disturbing what our society normalizes and pathologizes. I remember hearing anecdotally that if you are feeling low or sad for more than 6 weeks, in some places that qualifies you for a diagnosis of clinical depression and prescription of anti-depressants... As we know 6 weeks is hardly anything in the face of a major loss or trauma in life, not to mention that grieving is not a linear process and any timeline on it is therefore completely arbitrary. But it seems like that's the best we can do collectively.
Thank you for the links—I will check them out.
You're welcome. Yeah, and encouraged with phrases like "move forward"... "get over it'..."stay positive"...
Thank you for writing so beautifully about grief, I look forward to the series. I love that you suggest ritualising grief - unless we belong to a spiritual tradition or religion, in the western world those 'rituals' can feel very cold and meaningless. We need to reclaim ritual and make it meaningful for ourselves. I'm very impressed with the work of Francis Weller who recognises that many of us are grieving the loss of biodiversity and the natural world, but have no way of naming or properly grieving that. He believes that grief has been too privatised in western society and conducts large grieving circles so that we can come together and transform our pain, allowing us to move from denial and paralysis to regenerating our natural world.
Hi PJ, thank you for your thoughts. Yes, I've heard of Francis Weller's work and am glad you brought it up. Grief for the degeneration of the natural world and our separation from it is another example to me of love, inverted. Love for our home, our kin and our true place of belonging.
I was recently also struck by how ritual allows us to 'know what to do' when someone is grieving. So often we can't provide support because we don't know what to do or say, we get awkward or we try to cheer people up---ultimately leaving the grieving person more isolated in their pain. Having a ritual container can mitigate some of that discomfort, so that the pain of grief is shared rather than dismissed.