Banned Ideas: Then and Now

tantra, non-duality and mysticism

This post has been cooking in my mind for a while now, and as I’m writing, it is turning into a kind of manifesto of my philosophy. It was initially inspired by this video of Rupert Sheldrake, which was recorded for TED and subsequently taken down for being ‘pseudoscientific’. Whether or not you buy into Sheldrake’s theories of morphic resonance, it was interesting for me to witness his process in the talk, where he goes through and dismantles the core, unconscious beliefs of his industry. I started to wonder: what are the core beliefs in my field(s), and do they match reality or do we have some dismantling to do too?

Deconstructing thoughts and ideas is a very powerful way to learn, especially when it’s done on previously sub- or un-conscious beliefs, because (1) it throws those beliefs into the light where they were previously in shadow, and (2) the deconstruction process itself is deeply illuminating and, I believe, designed to bring us closer to reality. It’s a great strength of mind training to be able to do this, provided it’s not done purely for its own sake and actually leads to greater alignment with truth.

Often when we argue with someone, or when we try to dismantle our own beliefs, we forget to wait for that last part. The birth of a newer, truer understanding comes out of the silence, the unknowing, after the destruction. I had a friend in high school who called this process ‘glass shattering’. When you discover something that breaks down your prior understanding, it’s like a window shatters in your mind and you can actually see what’s outside without the filter of the glass. But we need to accept that the window is broken, and take the opportunity to look outside and absorb the new view, instead of trying to stick the shards together into a new thought-form or belief structure that covers up reality yet again. The momentary not-knowing is the potency, the hidden seed of growth. I say momentary, but depending on the magnitude of the belief, it can last a long time—weeks, months, years, a lifetime even.

One of the beauties of working with the body is that fresh perspectives emerge from the ground up, from embodied awareness. It becomes easier to rest in not-knowing when you’re in touch with your body, because the body is fundamentally a mystery. Being embodied transforms the unknown from a frightening place to a place of wonder and curiosity. I invite you to step into that space as you read the rest of this post.

---

---

My work straddles multiple fields, but if I had to narrow it down, it would center around embodied spirituality, and be rooted in three key ideas: mysticism, tantra and non-duality. I know that’s a lot of jargon, so I’d like to introduce each part one at a time. In keeping with the deconstruction angle, I’m also going to describe the beliefs that are questioned or subverted by each of these approaches, and see if I can shatter some windows in your mind while I’m at it ;)

Tantra ·

Welcome Everything

I titled this post somewhat sensationally, but the word ‘banned’ here refers to the fact that tantra is the outsider’s path. It is the ultimate form of non-conformity, disrupting the status quo through its relentless acceptance of everything. Nothing is out of bounds in tantric practice. Often the word tantra is taken to mean sexual practices, because sex is a taboo. But there is so much more to tantra than sex.¹ It is a fundamental realignment of viewpoint, one that takes in whatever is rejected, judged, dismissed and derided by everyone else. Where other traditions draw lines between what is permitted and what is not, what parts of yourself you should cultivate and what parts you should ignore and suppress, tantra says: forget all that. Be your whole self. You are the universe in miniature—integrate it all.

Among all the Hindu gods, I have always been drawn to Lord Shiva because of what he represents. Aside from being the lord of dance and yoga, he is the renegade—the one who takes in the outcasts, the ghosts and the demons, the addicts and the criminals. His entourage is composed of all the beings that society has marginalised and rejected. One story goes that when he turned up to his own wedding, his future parents-in-law got so frightened of his retinue that they begged their daughter Parvati to call things off. She didn’t, of course, because she was already and always part of him. Shiva and Parvati, Bhairava and Devi, masculine and feminine, yin and yang—they are the twin poles of reality. Their coming together is how and why the universe exists.

the Oneness of Shiva and Parvati, in the form known as Ardhanareshwar ('the half-female Lord')

---

All this talk of purity and impurity,
These are just opinions. Beyond them
Are the miraculous energies of creation.

Rays of light from a trillion suns
Illumine the altar of your sky.
Rolling blue-green oceans
Sanctify the air you breathe.
In this moment, you are inhaling their blessing.
Who are you to call any of this pure or impure?

Find the center around which everything revolves—
Stand here and be flooded with joy.

—Radiance Sutras 100

---

The tantric attitude to life is one of basic fearlessness. The reason we deny, suppress and reject things is because we fear them. We don’t trust that each experience has its place, its own dignity, its deeper message². On a social scale, this is a means of control, to ensure people behave the way they’re ‘supposed to’. In tantra, we turn this upside-down and welcome everything, as an expression of sacred energy, as part of life. It is utterly radical, uncompromising even, and not at all wishy-washy or soft. The kind of power you can liberate and access when you do this is immense, limitless. That’s why it is a secret path—not for everyone. Those who are ready for it will find it. The rest, it will pass them by, or not make any sense, until one day it does.

A student asked me the other day how I came into this work. I told her that I went through years of linear training in Buddhism, to the point of just starting tantrayana practice, when my life took a turn and brought me to somatics. Through bodywork and embodied spirituality, I came to realise the step-by-step path with its clear goal at the end was unnecessary. Everything was right here, right now, already, just waiting for me to see it. Of course, I wouldn’t have had that realization without all those years of practice. So you see, it comes full circle.

I don’t think I’m explaining tantra very well. Perhaps the secret nature of it is confounding my words. But let me come at it from another angle. Many traditions dictate that the purpose of spirituality is to purify the self, or to ascend to a higher self, or to transcend mundane life. If you look for it, this ideology is everywhere. The underlying message is: the present moment, your current self, isn’t good enough, there’s something wrong or missing, and we need to do something about it. Here’s a way out, a path forward, steps you should follow to get you where you need to be.

Tantra is the opposite. There is no purity or impurity; the path is not linear, sequential or progressive; it is just this moment, this reality. In tantra there is nothing to ‘work on’, nothing to transcend, nothing to do, in fact. Your being as it currently is, is already whole and perfect, an expression of divine mystery. All you need to do is look deeply into it, recognize what’s there, and trust it.

---

People talk about mind and ego.
Let's just drop this whole conversation.

Consider instead:
There is no mind.
There is no ego.

There is only the vivid reality 
Of this surprising moment
At play, beckoning.

—Radiance Sutras 71

---

---

Non-Duality ·

The Ordinary is Sacred

The philosophical basis for tantra comes from the non-dual traditions of the Indian subcontinent (advaita, literally ‘not-two’). As the name implies, non-duality is about dissolving the separation between opposites. Conventional mind divides the world into good and bad, up and down, in and out, body and mind, and so on. The non-dual approach is to recognize that both are one. They imply each other, they live within each other. It sounds incredibly simple when put like this, but the implications of living this philosophy are radical. They include:

• the ordinary is sacred

• the body is the mind (the premise of somatics)

• going down will take you up (the premise of embodied spirituality)

• the world inside you is the world outside you (the premise of depth psychology, dreamwork, synchronicity)

• perception influences reality (the premise of quantum theory)

A classic symbol for non-duality is the Daoist yin-yang. The dot within each half represents the conmingling of the two qualities, where one is seeded in the other, or starts to turn into the other. Another symbol is the Zen enso, or calligraphic circle—signifying that full and empty, beginning and end, are one. Yet another symbol is the lemniscate, infinity sign or mobius strip, which forms two parts out of only one line or surface.

yin-yang, enso and infinity symbols

Traditional advaita practices often direct us to look beyond the realm of Two to original Oneness. There is an emphasis on non-doing, silence, resting in primordial awareness… a bare, fresh simplicity.

---

I am the boundless ocean.
This way and that,
The wind, blowing where it will,
Drives the ship of the world.
But I am not shaken.

I am the unbounded deep
In whom the waves of all the worlds
Naturally rise and fall.
But I do not rise or fall.

I am the infinite deep
In whom all the worlds
Appear to rise.
Beyond all form,
Forever still.
Even so am I.

I am not in the world
The world is not in me.
I am pure.
I am unbounded.
Free from attachment,
Free from desire,
Still.
Even so am I.

How wonderful!
I am awareness itself, 
No less.
The world is a magic show.
But in me
There is nothing to embrace,
And nothing to turn away.

—Ashtavakra Gita 7.1-7.5
trans. Thomas Byrom, The Heart of Awareness

---

In tantra, however, the emphasis is on meeting the energy of what is, and tracing it back to its origin (Oneness, awareness, whatever you call it.) There is a different feeling to it, a distinct dance-like quality of motion. It is continuous engagement with the world, with perception, with the place where Two meet as One.

---

Experience the substance of the body
And the world
As made up of vibrating particles,
And these particles made up of even finer energies.
Drifting more deeply,
Feel into each pulse of energy
As it condenses from infinity
And dissolves back into it
Continuously.

Noticing this, breathe easily
With infinity dancing everywhere.

—Radiance Sutras 31

---

To be honest, non-duality is even harder to write about than tantra. It is the quantum level of spiritual philosophy. Plus, language is structured dualistically, made to define and distinguish one thing from another. Using it for the opposite purpose is challenging. Which is another reason why advaita is so fond of silence. The truth that can be spoken is not the real truth³, after all.

Both tantra and non-duality call us again and again to new frontiers. Every time you feel like you’ve welcomed it all, something else emerges for you to meet and accept. Whenever you think you’ve understood how one thing and it’s opposite are really the same, another layer, another question, will arise in your understanding. That is the way of life, beckoning you onward. Another thing the two share is the quality of surrender. There is no need to fight the world, no need for control, dominance, manipulation—just give in to what is, see what lies beyond, and live from that mysterious place. This is the way of wonder, the way of inexplicable dignity, the way of the sage who lives in harmony with Tao…

---

---

Mysticism ·

Do it Your Way

There is one more thread that I want to bring in to this post. I’m calling it mysticism: the need for spiritual experience to be personal, intimate, individual. Mysticism is about the feeling of sacredness, not about beliefs. The mystic, like the tantric, is therefore also an outsider, as their intimacy with the divine threatens the organised structures of religion. Mystics of all traditions have been wanderers, and many have suffered immensely for their devotion.

---

What do I care for the words of the world?
The name of the Dark One has entered my heart.
Those who praise, those who blame,
Those who say I am crazy, wicked, an uncontrolled fire—
All ignorant fools, caught in their senses.
It is true, Mira has no sense: she is lost in the sweetness.
To take this path is to walk the edge of the sword;
Then the noose of birth and death is suddenly cut.
Mira lives now beyond Mira.
She swims, deep mind and deep body, in Shyam's ocean.

—Mirabai: Ecstatic Poems
versions by Robert Bly and Jane Hirshfield

(the Dark One and Shyam are names for Lord Krishna)

---

The main ingredient of the mystical path is trust. Conventional society and religion asks you to trust in external authorities, institutions, rituals and structures. These are the threads that hold cultures and communities together. A mystic steps outside of all that and chooses to trust her own heart, or his own experience. Here is Mira again:

---

I give my heart without fear to the Beloved:
As polish goes into gold, I have gone into him.
Through many lives, I heard only the outer music.
Now the teacher has whispered into my ears,
And familiar ties have gone the way of weak thread.
Mira has met the Energy That Lifts Mountains—
That good luck is now her home.

(the Energy That Lifts Mountains or Giridhara is also another name for Krishna)

---

The world’s famous mystics walked this path boldly to the very end, leaving behind their words and stories as inspiration. However, mystical experience doesn’t always have to be dramatic, or extreme; it is everywhere, all the time, a way of perceiving and living in a sacred world as a sacred being. Nevertheless, it has a flavour of intensity to it, because of how personal and unique it is. Mysticism is the merging of the deep within and the deep without.

The radical step that puts you on a mystical path is choosing to go your own way, deciding that you will believe in your own experience more than what others say. Your way is your own, and no one else’s. An example: I recently read this article by Scott Britton of

Consciousness ∞ The Doorway to Human Evolution

about how his life changed after an ayahuasca experience. What stood out to me was Scott’s commitment to the path he was on, despite it creating many awkward and difficult situations for him. He is seeing things through in his own way.

Some time ago I had a student who works as a business coach. After I led her through an embodied meditation, she said she realised she had lost the ability to speak in her own voice and to convey her own feelings and beliefs. All her words were prescribed and crafted to fit with her professional persona, and even in her personal life, she tended to stay silent and crave space rather than express herself, because doing so felt awkward, like she couldn’t find the right words. Interestingly, in the practice she had felt an empty space around her heart, while the area around her head and her belly was full and pulsing. Tuning in to her own heart, listening to the sensations and finding a way to express them in the world would be her version of a mystical path.

Her story illustrates the movement from an identity and a life dominated by the expectations of others, to one in which you not only commit to yourself, but to your deepest, divine self. This commitment brings forth an unshakeable quality, because essentially you have become devoted to something that will never lead you astray. It doesn’t mean that you have no doubts or that your problems disappear, but that whatever happens, you absorb it and trust it as part of your path, and keep going.

Another, lighter example from my own life. I’ve never liked taking the metro (we call it the MRT in Singapore), and if I have a choice I opt for the bus. The trains and stations feel mechanical and sterile; I can’t stand the lighting and the garish advertising, the screeching and swooping and rattling of the trains creeps me out, and it’s just claustrophobic being in a giant underground tunnel. Last year, a new station opened near my house and I started taking the train more often. Initially I resisted the atmosphere by plugging in to music to block it out. But one day I happened to be in the last car, at the back of the train. I stood facing out into the blackness of the tunnel behind the train, and I was mesmerised. It was the darkest place I had ever seen—truly, completely black, all-pervasive darkness that you can lose yourself in. Singapore is the most light polluted country in the world, so darkness of that kind is a rarity. I stood there for the whole of my commute (about 40 minutes), dissolving myself into that dark space and then re-emerging every time we stopped at a station, over and over again. It was magical. By the time I arrived, I felt cleansed and profoundly refreshed.

Ever since that ride, underground travel feels like flying through outer space, and I’m a little more forgiving of the sounds and the lights than I used to be. Did I have a mystical experience while riding the train? Maybe I did. I share this experience to illustrate that living as a mystic doesn’t have to mean having grandiose, earth-shattering experiences. It means turning towards the sacredness of life at every opportunity, wherever and however you see it. It means following your own call to explore the particular strangeness and depth of your life. When you throw yourself into things, something unpredictable happens—because you and the world collide, and that’s where the mystic lives.

---

Conclusion

I hope this post gave you something to chew on, and that I was able to bring together these three big ideas—tantra, nonduality and mysticism—in a way that makes sense. The impetus for this post came to me out of nowhere and the process of writing it was full of surprises (including it being sent out by accident, earlier than I expected and after I had dismissed it as too philosophical). When something needs to be said, the world finds a way. In that chaos I’ve rediscovered the joy of writing, that was hiding behind perfectionism.

Thank you for reading, and for all your comments. Please share, like and subscribe etc. See you in the next one.

1. The word tantra has an impossible breadth of meanings in Sanskrit that don’t really clarify what it’s about. Its definition includes: warp, loom, textile, fabric, tapestry; spell, oath or ordeal; framework, model, system or structure (including house and government); characteristic feature, essence, principal or main point or part; rule, theory, doctrine or scientific treatise; technique or technology.

2. For an in-depth take on this idea, check out my posts on emotions here and here.

3. Dao De Jing, Chapter 1, paraphrase.