Senses, Pleasure and Mindfulness
An Embodied Guide to Anxiety (III)
This is Part III of a series on anxiety. Read Part I and Part II here.
In this post I will explore one of the easiest and most profound ways for human beings to shift state from agitation to relaxation: sensory pleasure. Like much of the information in this series, what I share may sound simple and basic, to the point of being obvious. However, I find that despite our instincts for pleasure and a culture that emphasises the seeking of it more than ever, most people don’t really understand what pleasure is, how to approach it, and what it can do for them.
We thus end up with a society full of people who are externally driven to seek out more and more of it, but remain unsatisfied inside. What’s the point of pleasure that doesn’t satisfy you? Reclaiming a healthy relationship with pleasure is one way to bring balance back to life and restore ourselves deeply, so we don’t have to stay trapped in that socially conditioned cycle.
Before I go any further, I want to state clearly five premises:
Seeking pleasure is a natural human desire and instinct. Human beings are made to enjoy and appreciate the world and each other.
Sensory or sensual pleasure includes all of our senses, not only touch/physical intimacy/sex. It is about finding an easy, effortless delight in what we see, hear, taste, touch, smell, how we move and breathe, the feeling of gravity and space around us, the energy or vibe of our environment and the people we’re with…
You do not need anything external in order to feel this kind of pleasure. (It’s worth reading that again.) Anything external means just that—other people, places, experiences, even stimulation of any kind. Being alive is innately pleasureable, so all you need is awareness and practice.
When we feel pleasure, the whole body and self expand and dilate into ease, restfulness, and relaxation. In the process, the body begins to heal and self-repair. Pleasure is thus the perfect, built-in antidote to tension, contraction, pain and stress.
Pleasure is not sinful, dangerous, or destructive in and of itself. It only becomes so because of how we approach it—grasping or becoming addicted, denying or shaming. If you are able to relate naturally and healthily with pleasure, it becomes a beautiful, creative and even sacred part of your life.
pleasure and mindfulness
Mindfulness and mindfulness-based meditation have become a popular approach in mental health contexts to reduce anxiety and stress. I believe that the ultimate form of mindfulness is about pleasure, or, if we’re using the technical term, bliss (ananda).
Mindfulness is about opening to your present-moment sensory experience, and receiving it fully, without inhibition or judgment. The state that results is one of ease and enjoyment of, or at least openness to, what is. Even when reality is hard to bear, with practice, awareness (or mind) remains soft, gentle, open and relaxed. This is the natural state of an awakened being, who has no trouble processing life because they are transparent and exquisitely attuned to its ebb and flow.
Mindfulness is often taught as being here now, which is true. But when I first heard that framing, it felt to me like a call to pay attention, rather than an invitation to just be or surrender into natural awareness. The former is a hard, closed approach that guards against distraction (what if I miss something that I’m meant to be paying attention to?); whereas the latter is a restful, effortless approach that sets the mind completely free to attend to whatever it wants to be with.
Mindfulness both requires and fosters relaxation. To be mindful and tense at the same time is a contradiction in terms; you have to let go of the tension for awareness to settle. As I said in Part I and II, a tense or anxious mind is hypervigilant and fixates on certain things, rather than being able to relax and receive more broadly.
I’m not sure why the pleasure aspect isn’t emphasised in mindfulness training1, because one of the core characteristics of the human mind is pleasure-seeking. It is much easier to pay attention to something you enjoy—you can do it without even trying, in fact. Plus, pleasure naturally softens our boundaries towards experience, so we can let it in. We become more relaxed automatically.
Even though I teach meditation, I don’t use the term mindfulness much—precisely because it feels distant from the state it is trying to describe, not to mention people have so many associations with it. The term I prefer to use is probably sense-fullness, or body-fullness: again, to point back to the sensuous, incarnate, visceral texture of life as we experience it, moment-to-moment.
All this to say, if you are using mindfulness-based practices to help with anxiety— wonderful. Just add in a sense of pleasure and enjoyment, knowing that these are healing states of being for your whole self. And if you are not familiar with mindfulness but you start to explore and enjoy your sensory awareness, know that you are effectively practising mindfulness too.
stimulation and overwhelm
The flip side of the senses with anxiety is overwhelm and overstimulation. When we are stuck in anxiety we can neither open fully to receive and enjoy the world, nor can we withdraw or let go fully to rest and regenerate. We are stuck somewhere in-between. We need to re-train our nervous system to flow smoothly in both directions, and restore a healthy balance between receptivity and retreat.
Depending on the individual, you can start at either end—with an open-senses practice, or with a sensory withdrawal practice—because they will feed into and support each other. The trick with an open-senses approach is to have only very light sensory stimulation available, not too much that it’s overwhelming. Alternating between sensory openness and sensory withdrawal will radically (and cumulatively) transform your experience of both yourself and the world around you. Over time, you re-shape your own sensory boundaries to accommodate your personality and lifestyle.
The formal practice I recommend for sensory withdrawal is yoga nidra, a form of guided meditation that is done lying down, which is designed to bring you into the liminal state between sleep and wakefulness. At its simplest, yoga nidra is a time-out from the world for you to rest, repair and nourish yourself internally. With practice, as you withdraw from the outer world you discover deeper layers of your being—eventually coming to rest in pure, peaceful awareness.
You can also practice sensory de-stimulation informally by spending time in stillness in quiet, dark places; like an animal going into hibernation. The advantage of yoga nidra, however, is that it is more structured, and you can just lie down and surrender to the guidance of the instructor. Once you become familiar with what it feels like to relax that deeply and let go, you may feel more comfortable de-stimulating on your own.2
Given the amount of stimulation we are all subject to (far too much!), I recommend yoga nidra to everyone. But it is especially helpful for anxiety, headaches, chronic pain, fatigue, insomnia and hormonal dysfunction. In terms of brain waves, yoga nidra (and other forms of destimulation) activate alpha, theta and delta waves, slower wavelengths that are reduced in anxiety or high arousal states. And of course, at its heart it is a meditative practice (one of the easiest ones to do), so if you are inclined that way, it’s worth trying out. Here is one that I really enjoy doing, but you can find many guided yoga nidra practices by searching for them online.
boundaries
One of the common objections to sensory practices is: isn’t this too hedonistic, or selfish? It must be wrong to feel this good, or to emphasise feeling good so much. We feel guilty, or ashamed, to indulge even in the simplest of pleasures, despite encouragement and explanations of why we should. I would like to reassure you that practising in this way will not turn you into a glutton, nor will it make you a bad person—what happens is quite the opposite.
When you start to work with your senses in this way, you will find that your boundaries around pleasure, stimulation and withdrawal are transformed. After a while, it takes less for you to feel more (which, by the way, is a very efficient and simple way to live). At the same time, you become aware that your contentment is coming from inside you, from the way you attend to the world and yourself. This is the most freeing realization, because it liberates you from needing anything from anyone else. As I said above, you do not need anything external to feel a sense of ease and delight—just being alive, present and aware is enough. You realise that you can be responsible for your own state of being, your own joy. In other words, it is about the state itself, not about whatever stimulated that state in you. Finally, you gain a sense of mastery over your own limits: how much stimulation is too much for you, how much you actually want and enjoy, and how to let go of the felt residue of sensory overwhelm.
compartmentalizing
Another response I see is rigidly segregating enjoyment and relaxation from the rest of life. People do this through their hobbies, or their self-care practice: that hour or two a week is when I can unwind and be myself, but the rest of the time I’ll just slog through. In this understanding there is no spiral of transformation, no learning, no chance for the practice to spread ‘off the mat’. You become dependent on that hour or two of whatever to release your stress and tension, but there is no awareness of how to be more relaxed and at peace the rest of the time.
Consider how you can blend the two modes together more. Let the state of being from your downtime ripple out into the rest of your day and week. Allow yourself to enjoy the little things even when you are in ‘work mode’: the pleasure of a good stretch, the sound of the rain or the radiance of sunshine outside your window, the taste of your coffee or tea, the feeling of a break that’s timed perfectly, the wind in your hair when you cross the street… Remember that you are a better you, and more yourself, when at ease in the midst of action.3
What happens inside you when you feel pleasure?
As I mentioned above, pleasure softens the body and dilates or opens us up to ourselves and the world. This is in contrast to pain and tension, which harden the body and contract us against ourselves and the world.
Sensory pleasure activates your cranial nerves, which run from each of your sensory organs into your brain. The cranial nerves, especially the vagus nerve, are among the main drivers of the rest-and-digest or parasympathetic nervous system.
For your nervous system, attending to the senses is also a kind of downtime, especially if you are not adding in extra stimulation. Your sensory nerves are always receiving information from the world anyway, but when you are doing other things your brain and body have to block some of it out, or try to interpret and understand that information so you can act on it. Dropping into just perceiving is a way of telling your brain and body: I won’t ask you to do anything right now. You’re free from all demands and pressures, so just rest and enjoy this moment.
From a hormonal perspective, feeling sensory pleasure promotes the secretion of:
endorphins (natural pain relievers)
oxytocin (the hugging hormone)
serotonin (the satisfaction hormone)
dopamine (the reward hormone), and
reduces the levels of cortisol and adrenaline (stress hormones) in your body.
Sensory practice with a focus on pleasure is therefore an incremental and cumulative way to rebalance your bio-chemistry. In the process, you enter into a spiral of increasing relaxation, healing, contentment and, eventually, bliss.
Sensory Practices for Anxiety
Your senses give you information about yourself and the world in real-time. They anchor you in the present moment, and are also a source of pleasure and enjoyment. The more you enjoy, the safer and more comfortable you start to feel in your own skin and in the world.
If you have been anxious for a long time, you may not remember what you enjoy doing, or what you used to enjoy may not feel the same any more. In this case, turn towards the simple pleasures of life—sunshine and fresh air, natural beauty, showering or bathing, eating or drinking good food in good company etc. These are easy to find and appreciate, and will boost your tendency to find pleasure in other things too.
Consciously prioritise sensory pleasure and enjoyment: set aside time per day that you will devote to nothing but this. My ideal recommendation would be 15-20 mins4 twice a day (or an equivalent amount of time spaced out differently over the day), but start with less if that’s all you can manage.
As I mentioned earlier, if you are overstimulated or overwhelmed, you might prefer to be with the absence of a sense (silence, darkness, stillness) rather than the sense itself. In this case the time you set aside will be for de-stimulation or withdrawal. Along the same lines, you can also explore the very beginning, or the littlest amount, of any sense: the softest of sounds, the gentlest of light, the smallest of movements. This is a wonderful way to bring yourself down out of hyperarousal, by continually attending to less and less.
You can attend to any and all senses without adding in extra stimulation: this moment has its own sounds, smells, sights, tastes etc. However, it is sometimes easier to slip into enjoyment when you add in something that you like, such as music, a particular aroma, or a certain movement. As always, the key is to find just the right thing, in just the right amount, and do it for just the right time. The suggestions below include simple ways to discover each sense; please adopt or adapt them as you need, and don’t be fooled by how simple they sound. Sensory pleasure and awareness are profoundly transformative.
Sound
Listen to music you enjoy—it doesn’t matter what kind, but devote your full attention to it for at least the duration of one song (3mins+). You can close your eyes and move or dance if you like, or lie down and let the music wash over you and take you to another place.
Play ambient sounds from an environment you like.
Explore binaural beats (alpha, theta and delta states only, avoid beta or gamma). For optimal effect, use earphones.
Listen to healing frequencies (528Hz and below) or try a live sound healing session.
Make your own music, by humming, singing or playing an instrument.
Touch
Anything that gently awakens your sense of touch will soothe and ground you.
Walk barefoot on the earth or get your hands dirty in the garden.
Get a massage, or try very simple self-soothing practices like the butterfly hug or gentle tapping or stroking (ideally in a downward direction) anywhere on your body.
Interact with animals, particularly ones you can touch.
Carry, stroke, and play with rocks of different weights and textures. If you enjoy this, get a worry stone that you can carry around with you in your pocket.
Try out different kinds of cushions, throws, rugs and blankets—as you do this you activate your instincts for nesting and hibernation. If you tend to get spaced out or agitated, you might prefer a heavier or a weighted blanket. Or you can focus more on the textures of the fabrics: satin, silk, wool, fleece etc.
If you are comfortable and you like water, immerse yourself in a pool or in the ocean, or take a warm bath or shower. Avoid cold water though, as it is stimulating.
Take up a craft activity that uses your hands: pottery, sewing, woodworking, DIY of any kind. Channel your excess energy into creating or mending something, and in the process be in sensuous presence.
Vision
When we are afraid or anxious, the eyes often dart around and have difficulty settling, or they become hard and overly fixated on what’s in front of us. Practice letting your eyes roam around and alight on some colour, shape or texture that you like—and then rest them there. You’re looking for the feeling of gazing softly without effort, or even a sense of going into a reverie or a daydream. This is known as drishti in yoga.
Go outdoors and see things in natural light, especially around dawn and twilight. Learn to appreciate the way the sun creates colours, shapes, light and shadow—as if you were an artist.
Make time to lie down on your back and skygaze, or watch the clouds go by. This is a beautiful mini-meditation to enter into a different sense of time and refresh yourself. It is also a great detox from screen time, or watching too many videos.
Avoid looking at screens for hours on end. It leads to the kind of ocular fixation I mentioned above. Take breaks and look at things in the real world whenever you can.
If your eyes are tired, or your feel overstimulated, you might want to try using an eye pillow or a weighted sleep mask. Gentle weight over the eyes and temples is very soothing for photosensitivity, headaches, forehead tension and buzzing minds. Some versions are also able to be heated or cooled, for extra effect. I use mine for a few minutes every night just before sleep, to slip into the dark.
Avoid fluorescent, neon and overly bright lights, especially at night, as they are overstimulating. Dim your lighting in the evenings, or use red or yellow light, so that you wind down more easily for sleep. Embrace the darkness or the half-light as you transition from day mode to night mode. You can also practice firegazing if you have a fire or candle nearby.
Smell
Seek out scents that you like: perfumes, essential oils, scented candles, aromas of particular foods or drinks…
As you smell, be aware of changes to your breathing. Accommodate any transformations and honour the way you want to breathe in the presence of this scent. You might find yourself sighing or yawning—go with it.
Taste
Practice slow or mindful eating: savouring scents, temperature, textures, tastes, and the rhythm of chewing, swallowing, drinking, resting… as well as the feeling of going from hunger to satiation.
In terms of food, eat at regular times and choose warm, nourishing comfort foods that are naturally sweet or salty to support your spleen and kidneys, eg. root vegetables, hearty soups and stews. Avoid cold, raw, dry foods like salads, smoothies and iced or cold drinks.
If you are in the habit of watching TV while you eat, experiment with removing one sense, and listen to music instead. Or you could eat outdoors, in a new location, or with different people, stimulating your spatial and social senses instead.
For a guided practice exploring the senses, check out this meditation.
Conclusion
I hope this post introduced you to a new approach you could take, whether you are anxious or not. Appreciation is a marvellous micro-skill that everyone could use more of. Let me know in the comments if you resonate with (or object to) anything I said, or if you have your own ways to engage your senses.
Even if you are not anxious, I encourage you to explore sensory awakening practices—simply to bring more delight into your life. Sometimes when I am out and about, I am struck by a momentary amazement at how much I’m enjoying myself, how deeply satisfied and nourished I feel just by being in good company, or out in the sun and in the water. And then I wonder: is it just me, or is everyone carrying this secret joy in their hearts?
In this post I only focused on the conventional 5 senses, but we have many more senses inside the body too—balance and motion sensing, muscular tension and relaxation sensing, weight sensing etc. The next post in the series will dive into the body, and include my suggestions around physical and somatic practices to reduce anxiety. Stay tuned and subscribe if you’re finding value in these words:
Actually I have some idea why—it’s because it’s too tantric. Mindfulness comes from the Theravadin schools of Buddhism, which are much more monastic, linear and systematic in style. Another reason for the slightly sterile flavour of mindfulness is the (mis)translation of the word itself. The original Sanskrit word that is rendered as mindfulness is smriti, which means memory or recollection, usually of something sacred. Personally I would translate it as: an open awareness that remembers the true nature of who you are and what the world is. But I digress.
A similar practice is flotation therapy, or sensory deprivation therapy, in which you float in a quiet, dark room, in a bath that is designed to make you feel weightless. I have not tried this but know that different people react differently to it. For some it is wonderful, and for others the deprivation is too extreme and triggering. I would suggest trying yoga nidra first, to see if you can acclimate and also because it’s free (float therapy is not cheap).
This is one of the definitions of yoga: relaxation in action.
The reason I recommend this is because 20 minutes is the duration of the ultradian healing phase—the time it takes for your brain to switch activity from one hemisphere to another. During this 20-minute phase, hemispheric activity is more balanced, and energy levels naturally drop because your brain wants you to rest or time-out so it can process whatever you’ve been doing. This phase happens every 90mins-2hrs, during both waking and sleep (during the latter it manifests as REM sleep, or dreamtime). If you can time 1-2 breaks/day to your ultradian cycle, you will naturally sync rhythms with your brain and be able to surf the waves of your own energy levels throughout the day. More on the ultradian rhythm in the final post in the series.
As always Vaishali, this is clear, concise, and comprehensive. Thank you. I have shared this with my friends, children, and grandchildren. Thank you.
This is lovely, Vaishali. Deceptively simple and profoundly helpful - thank you!